RSSWhy we love the Daily Show
Feb 15
This is why I love the Daily Show, it’s too funny to not put up. It’s funny on many levels, except the one with the injured guy.
From a larger list of jokes on the issue here: Cheney Accident Triggers Jokes on Late-Night TV
Jon Stewart: “I’m joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: “Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
“And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington’s face.”
Jon Stewart: “But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?”
Rob Corddry: “Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.”
Jon Stewart: “That’s horrible.”
Rob Corddry: “Look, the mere fact that we’re even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know ‘how’ we’re hunting them. I’m sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little ‘covey’ of theirs.
Jon Stewart: “I’m not sure birds can laugh, Rob.”
Rob Corddry: “Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they’re cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.
Jon Stewart: “Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?”
Rob Corddry: “Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man’s face. Let’s move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask.”
Feb 15, 2006 @ 15:28:38
It’s still too early to point out that Whittington was a powerful lobbyist who was shelling out for Cheney’s canned hunting trip so the two could get some time for friendly influence peddling, and far too early to call his injury poetic justice.
It’s way too early to consider the influence of lobbyists deep in the white house, in light of the population of lobbyists in Washington more than doubling in the last five years. And it’s much too early yet to delve into Whittington’s past deals with Cheney, which would put Abramoff to shame.
Right now, the most important thing is Whittington’s survival. If he survives, this incident can be written off as a joke and a historical footnote.
But if Whittington dies, Cheney will be guilty of manslaughter. In situations like this, judges have done everything from handing down draconian sentences to dismissing the charges. But killing someone, even accidentally, is never a matter that can simply be apologized away. Investigations take place, charges are pressed, lawyers get involved, hearings are held. The proceedings could last through Cheney’s remaining time in office. Unless he is able to wave some magic executive privilege wand and get the charges dropped.
We know the republicans have the power to change the national subject, dismissing the events with a few talking points and stearing the media to trivial stories. But do they still have the influence to clean up after a mess like this? Can Cheney pull another fast one? And will he do it now that he’s in the spotlight? Will the media call him on it when he does? Will the obvious abuse of power further enrage the public? Will the white house open up to investigators when even congressmen can’t get information out of them? Will the investigators find more than they expected? We may never know.
For the good of America, Whittington must die.