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I’m excited because I got a shiny new pamphlet in the mail today. It’s from the Jehovahs Witnesses. I always look forward to these timely updates on my demise.
I posted this the last time I got a pamphlet and it had quite a few JW’s drop by: Marketing a religion. (There were many more comments there before the site crashed and I replaced the old software with WordPress)
The title of this one is clear: “THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!”. It’s followed by a series of bullet points in the bottom right: “What is false religion?”, “How will it end?”, and my favourite: “How will you be affected?”. Now I’m hooked, please tell me more…
The next page is mostly about war, politics and gay sex. That’s not what I’m interested in here, they promised to say how it would affect me! Finally the next page gets down to some business, although is confusing. Nearest I can tell from the pictures, I’m going to be eaten alive by a 7-headed tiger with some attractive lady in purple riding it.
I do see a flaw in the logic on page 3. They say:
“In a sudden, shocking move, the world’s political powers will turn on false religion and completely destroy her! What will prompt this action? The Bible book of Revelation answer: ‘God put it into their hearts to carry out his thought.’”
That’s a stretch if I’ve ever seen one. How could you conclude from that very vague statement in Revelation the exact method by which false religion will be overthrown? It sounds like they’re doing nothing more than writing a novel. The following is just as true and probable:
“In a sudden, shocking move, Tom Cruise will become a born-again Christian, rally a massive army to take over the world and destroy all followers of these false religions. What will prompt this action? The Bible book of Revelation answer: ‘God put it into their hearts to carry out his thought.’”
In the end, I’m not convinced. The threat of being eaten by a 7-headed tiger is pretty bad, but the last pamphlet had pictures of nuclear war, so I feel like they brought it down a notch this time.